Andrew Darlington - One Poem

You'll Never Find A Gay In Catholic Church

‘After 200 years of Mass
we’ve got as far as poison gas…’ (Thomas Hardy)

Our father who art not necessarily in heaven
hallowed be thy name… but only up to a point…
this is my prayer for all you holy-phoney gospel-preaching moral majority
well-respected evangelists who curse out your neighbours and damn sinners,
sorting spiritual e-numbers from chaff and theological sheep from goats,
may your Lord have mercy on your soul, for I have none – you’re bound for hell,
this is my prayer for all you child-abusing born-again porn-downloading-again
god delusion creationist clergy who visit massage-parlours and maintain discrete
assignations in motels for the laying on of hands in stations of the crass,
I don’t forgive you fathers, for you have sinned – you’re bound for hell,
this is my prayer for all you fake-Catholic sisters of no-mercy who take the pill,
use condoms, fail to procreate, whose sacred causes oppose stem-cell research,
same-sex unions and a woman’s right to choose, no bunch of our fathers
and mumbled hail marys will buy you off this time – you’re bound for hell too,
this is my prayer for obese indulgers who pig out on junk-food and chocolate,
you poets who commit blasphemous rhyme writing verse that doesn’t scan,
you asylum-seekers, rough-sleepers, furtive smokers, dope-smokers, binge
drinkers, coke-drinkers, coke-sniffers, glue-sniffers – you’re already in hell,
this is my prayer for all you slacker youth who self-harm, self-abuse,
substance-abuse, pick your nose, play emo, play gangsta, play x-box,
and hang out in hoodies on street corners – you’re probably in hell too,
with all those unbaptised dead babies, bastards, adulterers, civil partners,
junkies and whores who reside in unforgiving purgatory for eternity,
this is my prayer, blessed are all you atheists, humanists, rationalists,
Darwinians, pacifists, vegetarians, agnostics, pansexuals,
pagans, heretics, blasphemers, apostates, unbelievers,
recidivists, free-thinkers, doubters, and waverers,
for the rest, come at me, ye legion of horrors
for I would willingly slay thee all,
there is neither fear in my heart
nor compassion in my eyes,
face it, you chose the wrong salvation
you’re all bound for hell…



Andrew Darlington has had masses of material published in all manner of strange and obscure places, magazines, websites, anthologies and books. He's also worked as a Stand-Up Poet on the‘Alternative Cabaret Circuit’, and interviewed many people from the worlds of Literature, SF-Fantasy, Art and Rock-Music for a variety of publications.