Martina Reisz Newberry - One Poem

Gibbous Moon

It is so dark;

clouds must be covering up the stars.

Yes, I’m certain that’s the reason for it.

There is only a slash, a ladle of light

from the waxing gibbous moon.

It is the time of pornography, regret,

terror, and other secrets, although

sexual fantasies can present themselves

at any time and dark seems to equal covert.

But, it’s the dark that seems to promise

the most faithful intimacies.

As a youngster, I loved secrets, the eternal

ritual of secrets: bending close to hear them,

the familiarity, the confidence given

that no one would ever know what I just heard,

the confidence from the whisperer

that I would never tell anyone (or maybe

that I would tell, if that was the goal).

Now I am older and don’t like the unrevealed

as much as I once did. The unwanted pregnancy,

the torrid love affair...I can no longer keep track

of secrets; I no longer see their importance,

their urgency for me or the whisperer.

The places in my soul where I kept secrets

are taken up with anxiety in regards

to my own mortality. The dark is that place

where I search every corner for my wrongdoings,

where (often on my knees) I beg forgiveness—

from you who read this,

from the moon, from Jesus, from my dead parents,

from every waxing and waning moon.

Ignoce me, I pray, fiat mihi in aeternum vive.*

*Forgive me, let me live forever.

Martina Reisz Newberry’s newest collection, BLUES FOR FRENCH ROAST WITH CHICORY is due for publication from Deerbrook Editions in 2019. Her latest book is: NEVER COMPLETELY AWAKE (Available from Deerbrook Editions). Her work has been widely published in the U.S. and abroad. She lives in Los Angeles.