Salvation In Fortune Cookies
Feeling desperate, I ate
an entire bag of fortune cookies.
Seeking empty calories and omniscient advice,
I chewed the sweet seers and let their wisdom
wash it’s way down my throat with a glass of warm rooibos tea.
A new pair of shoes will do you
a world of good—And, really, why
wouldn’t it?
You will find a new challenge
this week—Likely it will be learning
to walk in my new shoes.
A party with friends is in
your near future—I guess it’s a
good thing I’ve broken in
my new shoes.
Be content with your lot, one cannot
be first in everything—So, it seems I was
not the love of Johnny’s life. At least the beer
was free.
Be prepared to receive something
special—Let’s just hope it’s not VD.
Your efforts in a critical area will
soon be rewarded—Hooray, no VD.
You will do well to take a vacation
travelling to the west—I take this to
mean that I should play Oregon Trail.
I’ll be a doctor this time, better to cure
all of that damned cholera.
You are a leader. Others soon
will need your inspiration—Shane has died
of dysentery. I will lead you into the sweet
sleep of a now-curable, but for you unfortunate, disease.
Others see you as lively, friendly and
witty—Unfortunately, those others have all
died from the grueling pace you forced them to travel at—
a better fortune might be, You do your thang, you slave driver you.
Your talents will prove to be especially useful
this week—Oregon Trail is clearly not one of these
talents.
When opportunity knocks, answer
the door—opportunity, also known as Eli, was
dressed in a staunch black suit and handed me
a copy of The Watchtower.
Focus on your long-term goal. Success…
is soon yours!
Jessica Gleason writes because Bukowski no longer can. She likes to break the norms, do some writing, drink some whiskey, and then repeat. She also, occasionally, likes to sleep in a Star Trek uniform and has mastered The Song of Time on her ocarina.
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