Saturday, July 28, 2012

Seamus Carraher - One Poem

The Imposssibility Of Heartbreak
For Linda on May Day 


This is another thing i remember.
The torn edges of my life turning
into cold stone.
The words drying up and
all the birds flying away.
This is the law of my father's belt
into a million police batons
and i am my self again
in a million
faces on the road from Phnom Penh.

Here is a country not yet born,
a light over Hiroshima!
a light undoing the dark side
of my own face!

This is a thing i remember.
The cold steel of your unholy gaze
entering my torn anus
and the headlights of a million
galaxies dipping their beams.

This is the cold place.
A refridgerator for my dreams.
This funeral at the centre of my heart.
A march longer than war or revolution
this march where we meet my self,
and you, love?
irreconcilable victory!

Here still, a million dialects spoken and nothing said.

This is a thing i remember.
Like the birth and death of singing.
i visit this place, like a tourist
obsessed with meaning
in my uselessness.

And i am turning, love
turning in this directionless universe
corroded with reptiles.
i am tearing the mouth from these teeth
that won't let me go.
This world is still spinning on a turtle's back!
i am sure now, in my amputated limbs, my being
with both beginning and end,
sure how could there be a beginning or an end?

Tell me then: how come i am this thing now?
This thing without singing?


Love, you are calling and
we are calling and
this is a thing i remember
in my stumpless way.
My own face unfreezing in the
warmth of your being
and your tears holding what's left of me
at the kitchen table.
It's not the dark, nor the cold,
nor the steel,
not this thing, not me, not nothing.
It wasn't the pain, love,
nor this cold steel of eyes,
but the words, the words, the words,
"you like this, fucking bitch"
i use as oars in my chest
like a dead tree
crossing this place called home
for the last time,
unutterable contradiction!

Séamas Carraher was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1956. He lives on the Ballyogan estate, in south County Dublin, at present. Recent publications include poems in The Camel Saloon, ditch, Bone Orchard Poetry, Istanbul Literary Review and PemmicanPreviously his work has been published in Left Curve (No. 13, 14 & 20), Compages, Poetry Ireland Review, & the Anthology of Irish Poetry. 

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