Soundly Drubbed
Some people can find fault with anything-
This guy talks about how
He got loaded one time, ended
Up in the trunk of some buddy’s car
Says he got out
At a Rollins gig somewhere down
In the States
Didn’t know where- it ended well
People in this town can be possessed
Of a certain petulance
They want you to know
They’ve had to go through something
Every conversation has to have
An anecdote
With a stinger in it
Never Been to Toronto
Like Germany in the thirties
Like Chernobyl
I hate the place
And I've never been there
The centre of our culture
From backwater to backwater
The smell of sweet crude
Wafts from the google-plex
Hundred dollar ills
Upon a sea of natter
These Upper Canadian Muckety-Mucks
Vice-Chancellors and CEOs
Old money sluts
Turning tricks since before Confederation
My friend went there
On air miles
Says "I needn't have bothered-
Got frost-bite
A headache
And the runaround"
These snide city bitches with their hate-mail
Got lost in the airport
Turned left in Winnipeg
In another century
There'd be a wall around it
To protect us from it
And all our capitals would be imaginary
Like Inquisition-era Spain
Like Dante's Inferno
I hate the place and I've never been there
A.S.Parks is from Vancouver, BC. He has visited Toronto more than once and found it not so bad. His work has appeared in Carcingonic Poetry and nowhere else yet. He is writing and sending stuff out as we speak.
Never Been to Toronto - great poem. Never been there either - don't want to now :)
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